Elevator Conundrum
by Chiyo Hamasaki
Summary: Mamoru and Usagi are stuck in an elevator together!


**Elevator ****Conundrum**

Silly story is very silly! This was very fun to write! In this story Usagi and Mamoru are both older and they have known each other's secret identities for awhile, let's say four years. In this story Usagi _is_ the Moon Princess and Mamoru _is_ the Earth Prince, but they haven't learned that bit of crucial information _just_ yet.

The background of the story is that Usagi happened to unknowingly move into Mamoru's apartment complex and well...you'll see.

Please review. I'd appreciate it very much.

* * *

Why did _she_ have to move into _his_ apartment? Why? Why? Why? Why? My God why? Why? Why? Wh- Oh Dammit. Be civil for the sake of being civil. Civil for the sake of being civil. Civil for the sake - Oh goddammit.

"...Hi." A strained smile.

"Hello..." An equally forced smile.

"...Going down?" He asked trying to sound somewhat civilized as was his mantra for the time being.

"Yes..." she trailed off, not meeting his eyes. She too was going to be on good behavior, or so it seemed.

"So am I." He told her, trusting himself to behave for the short time they would spend together in the elevator. "Ground floor?"

"No, Floor 2." She still didn't meet his eyes and that was probably best. If he saw any hint of a challenge in her eyes would rise to meet it. Like always.

"Ah. Why?" He thought he would converse idly. _Civilly_.

"I wanted to see my friend, Minako. She lives here too you know..." She stated simply.

"Minako...?" He then tried to recall which of the blond's friend he heard being referred to as Minako.

"The one with the big bow in her hair." She clarified. "And blond, like me," she said pointing at her mane but his eyes immediately went to her ridiculous odangos before averting them hoping she hadn't caught him staring. It seemed she hadn't.

Clearing his throat, "Oh." Minako. The pretty ditsy one who he had an inkling wasn't half as dumb as she appeared upon first glance.

"...Mamoru." Usagi's voice held both annoyance and amusement suddenly.

"Yes?"

"The elevator won't go unless you press the button."

"Oh, of course," Mamoru mentally kicked himself for forgetting such a crucial rule of elevator mechanics. Switching his hot coffee into his other hand he quickly pressed the ground floor then 2 before turning and giving Usagi an awkward smile that matched the uneasy feeling that filled the closed space. Both had been doing a good job avoiding one another in the apartment complex they now shared; at least they had until they both managed to catch the same ride down. Soon they would be released and they would go their separate ways, hopefully avoiding another encounter for some time. Who knew how long this game of Hide and No Seek would continue. Weeks? Months? Forever? At the current rate it seemed it would never end. As long as these weird feelings surrounded the two of them they'd continue to do their damndest to avoid one another.

When the elevator descended past floor six and abruptly halted, jarring the two occupants inside, Mamoru realized that life was just a big cliched joke. Mamoru recoiled with unbridled annoyance at the loud sound that came from above them.

"Huh? What did I touch?" Usagi pushed herself off the wall she was leaning against and looked frantically for any button she could have pushed by accident.

"You didn't do anything. We're stuck," Mamoru let out a defeated sigh. Something told him they wouldn't be going their separate ways any time soon.

"Stuck?" Usagi asked, dumbfounded. "Stuck," she repeated once more as the realization sunk in. "We're stuck!" she exclaimed as if it had just occurred to her. "Oh sweet baby Jesus in heaven we are stuck!" Frantically she walked over to the metal door and tried to pry it open with her tiny hands.

"Usagi, even if you did somehow get the door open you'd step right out and fall down the shaft. We'll just have to wait." Though he wasn't frantic like Usagi he was beyond aggravated with the situation, but in true Mamoru-like fashion, he was able to keep his cool and seem unfazed.

"So what? We just wait here in this box? This hanging death trap?"

"I suppose we have to."

Usagi regarded him thoughtfully for a second before sneering at him "Screw that." She then proceeded to try to pry open the door. Her knuckles became pure white from the strain.

Twenty minutes later Mamoru still stood in his spot. His cup of coffee was now empty and sat on the floor beside him while Usagi lay sprawled out on the elevator floor exhausted from her efforts. "God this sucks," she broke the long silence as she sat up and massaged her sore hands. Mamoru nodded his head in agreement. It wasn't the best situation he'd ever been in. "It really sucks. I mean stuck in an elevator is bad enough but it's worse when I'm stuck with...ah...never mind." She scratched the back of her head in embarrassment. At the last moment she had remembered to turn on the 'social filter' Makoto had told her about. Still Mamoru knew exactly what she had meant to say.

"For the record," he spoke for the first time in thirty minutes. "I'm not ecstatic to be stuck in here with you either."

She shot him a heated glare and crossed her arms. "So I went through the trouble of censoring myself just to have you say it out loud?" she accused with a raised eyebrow. Mamoru simply looked away. "Well Mamoru, for the record I'd rather be stuck in here with a thousand cackling blood thirsty hyena mutants than you!"

"I doubt a thousand could fit."

"Smartass. I'd rather be in here with Rei on her period. Sure she's at her bitchiest then but at least she isn't an ass like you."

"And when, Odango Atama, have I been an ass to you?"

"Like right now! My name is _Usagi_! **U-SA-GI**! And, um...let's see...like since forever!" Usagi jumped to her feet. "From the moment I meant you!"

"That's being an ass?" Mamoru questioned. "You throw a test paper on my head. A failed test paper may I remind."

"School was dull, okay! I couldn't help it I was bad at it Mr Braininess!"

"Is that why you didn't go to a University? Or wouldn't they let you on campus? Or were short fukus against the dress code and you couldn't bare to part with your memento of the past?" He was taking a jab at her Sailor Moon outfit she knew. Ever since they had discovered each other's secret identities the relationship between Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Kamen had changed into frenemies at best.

"Oh, you! Mr Fashion Expert, would know?" She pointed an accusatory finger at his pea-green jacket.

"I don't have to be a fashion expert to know that in that outfit you look like a cheap prostitute."

"And it isn't my fault you have had so many encounters with cheap prostitutes to base that on."

"Oh yes. As if between going to school, which you don't do by the way, having an internship at a prestigious hospital in Tokyo, and putting up with your childish behavior I have time to do such a thing."

"Ohoho. Mr Casanova is admitting he's not getting any!," she retorted. "So sad, so sad. Maybe you'd want me to match you up? I know a total bitch who lives in room 24 who might be interested in an egotistical ass like yourself?" she asked sarcastically with a roll of her eyes.

"I seriously don't need romantic advice of any kind from you, Odango," he said with all seriousness. Too serious.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Take a wild guess, _Virgin Mary_!"

She was seething with rage now. "I'll kill you right where you stand," Usagi hissed in anger. If steam could actually come from the infuriated young woman it would have.

"And then you'd go to prison for the rest of your life," Mamoru noted coolly with an uninterested shrug.

"I can't be sentenced to life!" Usagi yelled in defiance. "I'm _special_!"

"Yeah, you are, special in the head."

"You just keep that up mister," she warned.

"Well, if you insist. You are a bratty, selfish, loud, clumsy "_special_"-" Around the fifth descriptive insulting word Usagi lost all of her physical restraint and in the next second Mamoru was on the floor rubbing the knee that had been on the receiving end of Usagi's patented "Super Awesome Sailor Moon Pretty Solider Kick."

"I went easy on you!" she made sure to tell him. "I could have killed you with my bare hands. After all everyone knows you can't fight. You just throw stupid roses!" Usagi wasn't sure why, but she had expected Mamoru to stay there on the floor for the remainder of their plight, silently avoiding her wrath.

That expectation was blown to shreds when, with a noticeable limp, he picked himself up off the floor and said, "I realize that as I have intelligence I may lack the your powers or your temper, but do not for a moment mistake that for weakness, Usagi." The steady, even glare he was sending her was surprisingly intimidating. Since when was Usagi Tsukino intimidated by Mamoru Chiba aka Baka Face? The man she considered a annoying, inconsiderate moron who just happened to be the secret identity of her crush for several years was now sending her an intense glower, making her feel unsettled. But like always she refused to back down from a confrontation.

"Pshaw! I could kick your ass right here and now and send you hobbling back to that hole you crawled out of," she huffed defiantly with crossed arms and a scalding hot glare that easily beat Mamoru's.

"I highly doubt that."

"And why is that?"

"Because I'm a man and you're a woman."

"Oh, so now you're sexist too? Way to step up the ladder Mamoru!"

"Yes well with your heel constantly in my face pushing me down it's hard to be the better person and climb up."

"Aw, Poor Mammy-roo. Always with the sad sob story."

"Poor simple Odango Atama. Always with the ineffective sarcasm."

After briefly glancing around the small area for anything to pick up and hit Mamoru with, Usagi reached down and grabbed Mamoru's empty cup and placed it in the middle of the floor. "What are you doing?" He asked her perplexedly.

"Making sides." Usagi explained. "This cup separates our spaces. For your physical well-being I'm sitting it here as a reminder for me not to kill you before we are rescued from this hellhole."

Giving the cup an odd glance, Mamoru gazed up at Usagi and said, "This was my apartment complex first, so technically more of this elevator should belong to me." He took his foot and slid the cup closer to Usagi until it sat right at her feet. "That, is your space." She was pressed up against the wall. "And even with that I am being generous."

"Mamoru."

"Yes?"

"Fuck you _and_ the cup," Usagi kicked the offending across the elevator.

An hour later and the two were still stuck in the elevator. To make their situation even worse now the air conditioner had failed and it was starting to feel like an oven, as Usagi had so often called it in the past.

For the moment the two found themselves at an unofficial truce. Both now sat down on the floor of the elevator on opposite sides. Usagi was twirling the cup she had an hour ago kicked and Mamoru had his head up against the wall with his eyes closed tight in thought. "Do you think they even know we are in here?" Usagi words not only broke the silence but would probably eventually lead to a break of the truce.

"Of course they know we are in here. It's just a matter of time before they get this hunk of junk running again."

"That's what you said right after we first got stuck a million hours ago."

"And I stand by it. It will be a matter of time. I didn't say how soon or how far away that time would be."

"You're a smartass," Usagi frowned at him but didn't say it with as much anger as she had earlier. She was drained.

"And you're just _wonderful_," he mocked.

Reluctantly letting his sarcastic comment go, Usagi sighed. "So..."

"So what?"

"Let's talk."

"Judging by our earlier conversations, talking should be avoided, don't you think?"

A million snappy quips came to her mind but Usagi pushed them all away. "Listen. I'm bored, tired and sweaty. Let's just try to pass time and talk about something."

Mamoru really wished she hadn't mentioned her being sweaty. Now his eyes were trained on the small bead of sweat making it's way down her neck slowly heading towards her breast. _Why was she showing so much cleavage?_ he wondered numbly. Shaking himself out of his trance to a luckily oblivious Odango, he thought for a moment before asking "About what could we possibly talk about? The chocolate you stole from me four years ago and still haven't returned? Or how about how you destroyed my laptop's CPU at the Crown Arcade and tried to accuse your friend Makoto?" With little interest he noticed Usagi surprised look. "Yes, I knew it was you all along. The poorly executed and childish nature of the damages immediately pointed in your direction."

The good humor to which she was desperately clinging was slowly escaping her. "You are just itching for another kick, aren't you?"

"Are my motives that transparent?" Sarcasm laced his voice.

"I know!" Usagi smiled brightly. "Let's talk about how you are a total jackass, geek who likes to play big important man on the weekdays and then get drunk off his ass on weekends and has to have someone drive him home."

"As thrilling as that sounds let's talk about how you are a short, whiny little entitled princess who would stab anyone in the back if she deemed it worthy."

"Not true." Usagi threw back without a moment's hesitation. "I stab people in the front, want me to show you?"

"Ah. Justice according to Odango. Just wonderful."

"You deserve a swift kick in the ass."

"Didn't we already go over this once? If I recall correctly, it resulted in a very unsuccessful placement of a cup divider."

"I didn't want to hurt you Chiba, but you better believe that I could and will _fuck_ you _up_ if you keep running your mouth!" She glared at him through narrowed eyes.

"I don't fight girls," Mamoru replied casually.

"What did you just call me?" Usagi rose to her feet slowly and stared down at the still seated man.

"I called you what you are. A _little_ **girl**," he answered coolly but with inflection on all the right words to rile her up. "Besides, little girls don't fight fair."

No one called Usagi a child. Even at 20 years of age she constantly had to hear that kind of comment from her best friends- who oddly were no older in age, but for some reason it stung even more coming from Mamoru.

"At least little girls _can_ fight. Nerdy little boys can only talk," she placed her hands on her hips and antagonized him.

"Little girls don't know when to stop talking."

"It's all little boys can do."

"Little girls think they are intimidating"

"Little boys won't admit when they are intimidated."

Mamoru stood up from the floor and said plainly. "Little girls tend to get themselves in big trouble."

"Little boys don't realize when they've already lost a battle." Usagi poked Mamoru in the chest with a bony finger, standing up on her tippy toes and looking at him with beady determined eyes that Mamoru easily matched. Their faces were barely inches away as they engaged in their hot-blooded stare down that was gradually becoming more dangerous as time passed and lips drew closer despite fierce eyes.

"Little girls don't know when to leave good enough alone."

"Little boys don't know when to take a hint already."

"Usagi," he croaked out her name. Her name. Not Odango.

"Yes?" she asked through half lidded eyes.

"You truly are in trouble now; you do know that, don't you?"

She fully opened her eyes and gave him a fiery smirk, eyes ablaze with anger but also with some other unidentifiable emotion. "You don't intimidate me Mamoru Chiba."

"Are you sure?" he edged closer causing her to back away until she was at the wall, a growing blush on her face.

"Yes, I'm sure," she didn't even convince herself but she wasn't about to back down now or ever.

"Good, then you won't mind this." He then quickly closed the short distance with a possessive, dominating kiss as he pressed the tiny woman against the wall.

He kissed her as if he were starving for her and only for, teeth scraping her lips demanding entrance to her sweet mouth. Years of pent of frustrations unleashed themselves in that insistent and Usagi began to kiss him back just as fiercely, forcing them both back off the wall. Together they fought for dominance and the upper hand in this new exciting battlefield in which neither one was willing to admit defeat to the other. Usagi snarled as he ground against her smaller body trying to entrap her between his body and the nearest wall and Mamoru groaned as she returned the gesture with just as much brute force. She dared him to take what he wanted, fury and passion laced in her bright blue eyes as she stared up at his lust filled navy blue ones. Both felt themselves quickly losing inhibitions and forgetting their current location. All that matter in those beautiful moments was the sweet relief of this longtime self inflicted torture of denying one another what they so desperately wanted.. Each other.

Wandering, groping hands and seeking, desperate lips thought not of the security camera up in the corner intently watching them.

"Yay! Mission is accomplished." Minako smiled smugly and patted herself on the back as she watched the black and white monitor with a devilish smile.

Makoto and Rei and Ami stood behind her watching the monitor with astonishment. "I never thought it would actually work," Makoto muttered under her breath. "_Never_."

"You truly are the goddess of love, Minako." Ami commented as her eyes stayed transfixed on the screen before her. A small smile tugging at her lips.

"You certainly are something..." Rei hardly stifled her laugh as Usagi stumbled backwards under Mamoru's insistence. Currently, the dark haired man was clearly winning their battle for dominance it seemed.

"Thanks Ami dear and Rei dear!" Minako chirped happily and a little too eagerly. "And of course ya didn't, Mako dear." Minako swerved her chair around to face the pony-tailed brunette. "That's why _I'm_ the leader!" She pointed to her head with her index finger, before pointing back at the screen. "Those two had so much sexual tension built up they were starting to really, **really** resent each other. It was a million times worse than before! It was driving everyone crazy! Am I right?" And Rei and the others nodded. "Since they weren't going to do anything to alleviate the stress thems_eeee_lves, I thought we should give them a little nudge. Just call me Lady Love, LL for short." With a sly wink a very proud Minako boasted.

Rei couldn't help but sneer at her friend's now over cockiness. "Well, Ms _LL_, how long do you think you can keep it hidden that Mamoru and Usagi are stuck in the elevator and that it's all your and your-stupid-boyfriend-who-somehow-works-at-these-apartments-and-somehow-you-conned-into-letting-you-have-free-reign-on-the-elevator-controls fault?"

Minako shrugged. "At least another hour. Maybe more. Depends on how-"

A sharp gasp of shock from Ami caused Minako to swerve back around to face the monitor. The devilish grin that she donned earlier now turned into a full fledged deviant countenance as her light blue eyes sparkled with perverse excitement. "Oh hell yeah!" She began to clap and cheer. "Go Chiba-san! Ride her like you stole her!"

Without being able to enjoy anymore of the grainy, soundless, black and white show she was witnessing, Rei and Ami yanked her up from her seat and out of the security room but not before disconnecting the elevator security camera from a still closely watching Makoto.

Taking one last look back at the now blank screen Minako spoke to herself more than her girl friends, "I really hope she's on the pill because I am _not_ playing babysitter anytime soon." A moment later, "I also really hope they disinfect that elevator too. Like, with a bucket of pure undiluted bleach."

Her friends laughed but also nodded their heads in complete and utter agreement.


End file.
